


Explanation To Moonshine

by Wholeandorentire



Series: Refrigerator conversations [1]
Category: NADDPOD - Fandom
Genre: Also jokes about werther’s originals, Gen, I couldn’t get over this goof, No actual sex, Refrigerator nonsense, conversations about sex, i came up with that joke and couldn’t let it go, it will probably come up again in a later fic, of course
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22381837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wholeandorentire/pseuds/Wholeandorentire
Summary: Moonshine asks for more details about Hardwon’s time in a refrigerator
Series: Refrigerator conversations [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1611133
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Explanation To Moonshine

**Author's Note:**

> Got stressed after episode 88 so I wrote this. Taken from a bit from Baggin’ it with Balnor. Want to write more like this with other characters, so watch out for that

Moonshine asked Hardwon about the refrigerator thing first.   
“Hardwon, I definitely want to hear more about that time you spent in the refrigerator, I have never had a sexual experience in a refrigerator, frankly, I’d never even thought of it, probably never would have if you hadn't brought it up, but now I am eager to try it.”

“Yeah, Moonshine, I just have a really advanced sexual mind, ha HA, I guess I’m just more experienced with having sex than you, I mean, with the thirty four people and all that…”

“Yeah, I’m not sure how many people I’ve been with, it seemed weird to me to keep a count, but if that’s your thing, anyway, how did you do it? I keep trying to figure it out in my head, but I can’t quite figure out, is it both of you in the refrigerator? Or does one person put, like, their legs up to it? Or do you just have sex on the floor while the refridgerator’s open? It’s definitely a temperature play thing, which although I have never experienced that sort of thing for myself, I have heard many good things about, anyway, I’ll quit my ramblin’ and let you tell me the whole story, spare no detail, I want to be able to recreate it the next time I see a Tris.”

Hardwon stared, dumbstruck. He hadn’t thought through any of the details of how he was supposed to have had sex in a refridgerator, those words had just come out in a jumble during the blind panic of having to sound sexually experienced to all of Behumia, and he certainly wasn’t prepared to give Moonshine advice on how to impress a Tris. She was the one who’d been edging Tris’ all though the Fae Wild, meanwhile Hardwon hadn’t really made an impression on any of them. 

“Ha, well, yes, actually, you hit the nail on the head, or, you know, the person into the refrigerator, listening to you ask those questions was like reliving the experience. There’s nothing more to tell, really.”

“But, Hardwon, I said a bunch of things…”

Moonshine faded off, and for a moment Hardwon thought he’d finally been caught in his weird sexual lies, but then, Moonshine lit up and started talking excitedly. 

“Oh, you did all of those things! Well, color me impressed, Hardwon, I guess that does make the most sense, knowing what I know about your, ah, vast sexual experience. Yes, based on what you’ve told me, and your enjoyment of both normal and foreign sexual positions, it does make the most sense that you didn’t just do one thing with the refrigerator.”

“Yes, exactly! See, you just get me! I don’t even have to tell you my sexual past in detail, but you know that I could, right, and you still understand it as though you were there. Even though you weren’t. But there was definitely also a girl there, with me, when the refrigerator thing happened. I just don’t remember her name. Or what she looked like. So, don’t ask me about either of those things! But the food in the refrigerator, well, to be fully honest, just like how I’ve been the whole time, fully honest, I don’t know why I’m mentioning honesty now, as we have always been honest and there is no reason for that to change now, that we’re talking about all the sex I’ve definitely had,”

Moonshine was nodding along. 

“Anyway, where was I going with this? What were we talking about?”

“The food, what food was in the refrigerator when you were having sex in and on the refrigerator.”

“Oh right, it was...um…”

Hardwon looked desperately around the room. He saw some Werther’s Originals wrappers Bev hadn't thrown away.

“Werther’s Originals. Also, there were some Werther’s Fakes in there, and let me tell you, they were just as good, if not better, than the Original’s.”

Bev poked in, hearing talk about the Werther’s Originals.

“Really, Hardwon, you’ve tried Werther’s Fakes? I thought they were only a thing of legend?”

“Yeah, kid, they’re real all right, and a very good snack after furious, but also loving and gentle, if you’re into that, and I’m onto both, lovemaking. Sexually.”

“Oh. I always thought they were just like Werther’s Originals but in different flavors. Hmm. Maybe it’s good that I haven’t had or seen them.”

“Dang, they’re making weirder and weirder candy these days, hey, do you think I should get into the candy making business? I know I normally cook savory things, but I think there’s a lot of good making and giving away candy to kids.”

And with that, the conversation shifted to Moonshine’s potential candy and the societal improvements that came with more candy. Hardwon was safe from talking about the time he defiently, most certainly, honestly and truthfully had sex in and or on (he still wasn’t sure) a refridgerator.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave kudos and comments :)


End file.
